7 days

I don't think it has really hit me that in just a week we will be on our way to Ethiopia.  

One week.  

I can't believe that the day we have been anticipating for so long is almost here.  Now that we are so close I am finding myself in a bit of a panic worrying that we won't be ready or adequately prepared.  The last 10 months have been filled with major ups and downs.  It has been an agonizing process and one that has most definitely changed us.  For the better, I hope.  I can't even explain how we have grown as a family through this experience and I know that it's really only the beginning.  

Although we were really hoping to be able to take the older children with us on this trip, we are trusting that things are happening just the way they are supposed to.  Rob's sister Becky (bless her heart) is flying out from Idaho to stay with our kids for 2 whole weeks.  My only request is that they are all alive and well when we get back.  Anything more than that will just be considered a bonus.  How in the world will I ever be able to repay her?  

There are so many things I have wanted to share throughout this process but I can't ever seem to muster up the courage.  I have shared some of the personal details of our journey with a few close friends and family but can't ever seem to record them here on this blog.  I guess I'm just a little protective of the special people in our story and I don't ever want to say or share anything that would disrespect them in any way.  But, there is a lot to learn from the stories that can be shared.  

A couple of weeks ago, Sarah (10) came home from school with a story she had written and shared with her class.  Rob and I have been completely open with our children about every aspect of the adoption.  We have shared every bit of information we have received with them.  We have felt strongly since the beginning that this was something that we were doing as a FAMILY.  When we decided that we would like to go forward with the adoption process back in December, we sat the children all down and asked them how they felt about it.  Rob and I agreed that the only way we would move forward was if everyone was on board.  And they were.  Sarah has probably been our child that has shown the most enthusiasm when it comes to the adoption.  She asks the most questions and seems to be the most interested in the little details.  I think she did a pretty good job recounting the story of our Ethiopian children as she remembers hearing it.  So, I thought I'd share their story--in Sarah's own words:  (She uses their Ethiopian names--which we will keep as their middle names)

One sunny afternoon in a country called Ethiopia, there lived a poor but cheerful family.  "Yewhashalet! Can you go inside and get me a pot?" her mother asked.  She did as her mother told her.  Yewhashalet loved to help her mom with chores.  Yewhashalet was a very friendly and helpful child.  She was the oldest in her family.  She had a little brother named Mekasha.  He also loved to help his mom.  All day, every day Yewhashalet and Mekasha would work and do chores around the house.  Their mom would sit by a fire outside the house making hot drinks for the people to buy.  That was the only way to make money.  Later one day, Yewhashalet and Mekasha's father died.  He was a farmer. Things had gotten a lot more difficult for their family.  The kids loved their mom so much they volunteered to work a lot harder to keep their house and help their mom.  Then, their mom got very sick.  Their mom knew she couldn't take care of them anymore.  She was too weak and poor.  They didn't have any other family that could take care of them.  Their mom took them to an orphanage she could trust.  The kids were sad but knew they would be fed, clothed and taken care of really well.  Their mother explained to them that she was taking them to the orphanage because she loved them and wanted them to be safe. She told them that they would be able to be adopted by a family that could love and take care of them. Their mother cried because she would miss her children but she knew that they would be taken care of.  She knew that it wouldn't be long before she would die and she wanted to make sure her children were taken care of.  At the orphanage, Yewhashalet and Mekasha made lots of friends.  Their friends, Andualem and Hana were adopted.  They waited anxiously for their turn.  When the time came they heard that they would be adopted by a nice family.  They would soon be able to go live with their new family in America. 

We are hoping that while we are in Ethiopia, we will have the opportunity to meet our children's mother. One of my biggest fears is that she won't live long enough for us to meet her.  I want to hug her and thank her for her courage and selflessness.  I want to be able to assure her that her children will be cared for and loved--that they will be given every opportunity possible.  I want to know what her wishes are for them.  I want to be able to sit down with her and ask her all about her family history and all about the children she called her own since the day they were born. There are so many things I want to say and ask her.  Will she like us?  Will she be able to have peace? I think about her often.  I pray for her.  I think about how sad she must be and I pray that she isn't suffering.  I pray for her to feel comfort.

In 2 days this sweet mother will stand before a judge and be given one last opportunity to change her mind.  I have thought about this quite a bit and I can say that I am at peace about it.  I have thought about the possibility of her changing her mind.  Although, I would be heartbroken and have to mourn the loss of two children I have grown to love so deeply, I would have to accept it.  They are not our children until the day she signs that final piece of paper and we stand before a judge on November 7th and receive that final approval.  And, even after that all takes place, we will spend the rest of our lives reminding these children that they were loved by another family before they were loved by ours.  We will not be replacing their birth family but will work hard to pick up where their loving parents left off.  Hopefully with a little more opportunity but just as much love.